Incoherent Ramblings...

mood: In Pain

Done. I'm actually done.

One more year left of school and then onto university. Which is a scary scary thought. I was so busy right up until the end of term, doing magazine, packing.

And I did a talk infront of the school, being head girl and all, and it was absolutely fine. It was infront of 600 people. which is about half the school, so it will be bigger when I have to do it next year. But it's quite exciting once you are up there and past the nerves.

My coccyx hurts so much, which makes walking, sitting, lying down...almost everything painful. But I'm going to the doctors about it soon anyway...so heres to hoping.

mood: Angst

Next door is having a party. Well bully. This is the first weekend home in 2 weeks and all I want is a nice solid sleep and all I get is a thumping bassline and it's pissing me off. So. 
To ease My anger I am watching crime programmes, I am currently on Law and Order but it wont drown out "BRING IT BACK...SING IT BACK". Guh. It almost makes me want to be back at school at least in the middle of Norfolk you don't hear anything other than birds. But I guess I am just never pleased...seeing as I got quite muderous at one point; fantasising about getting a broom and hitting the birds nest off the windowsill.

You have no idea how much I wanted to kill those birds at 4.30am.

So yes. This is another whinge until I stop working enough to get a social life.

Bah Humbug.

location: School

mood: Nyeh

<Emo Rant>

I don’t think the angst can be put down to a lack of sugar or an increase in workload.

I think maybe it’s down to a complete lack of faith in the human race. Seriously, so many things can happen, or not happen, and you just question, not only the point in you but the point in everyone else.

So the whole thing sounds quite emo.

But that’s fine, emo is good. I wonder if maybe a lot of my misery is down to the fact I have no faith in anything whatsoever, no faith in God or the divine or in people. If all of these factors of faith are nonexistent and you aren’t happy then what purpose are you serving.

I don’t care about the meaning of life.

That question is like, aaaages old, no one cares about the meaning. After all the meaning, the definition..Blah… that is what you make it, not what it is. But purpose. Now that is a question.  If you do not live to serve and you don’t live to be happy then why?

Now to take that massive thing and scale it down to a more interestingly trivial size its just that people are crap.

I’ve got friends who can’t be bothered to make an effort, I’ve got friends who want to move ‘up’ in life and there are people who are the most two faced bitches ever. And that goes for boys too.

I feel like I’m in this massive bubble just looking out at everyone, making all these plans for them and going through all the steps and just not actually feeling any of it. I want to live. I want to travel and just leave and just go and not belong anywhere and be free.

I’m having a window moment. Where I want to jump out my window and not fall. To just fly out and fly forever in that twilight time. You know that time where its not quite dark but it isn't light either. That sundown moment where the sun isnt there but the light still is. That time. And just float forever.

Gyeh, I think it is my peter pan complex coming through. I’m 18 in October. That means I’m an adult. And I’m not a child anymore. But I don’t think I’ve been a child for a long time.

And that upsets me a little.

</Emo Rant>

mood: bored

Allthough I have finished all my exams for next year my school deems it necessary to continue my suffering. It's not that I don't enjoy my subjects because I do, I have a lot of patience for them...I promise...Oh and by the way I take:

(Spanish)
(Geography)
(History)
(Art Multimedia)

But I am pretty sure I want to drop geography at the end of this year. But I can't because the teachers seem to think that it will be worthwhile to keep me here for another 6 weeks in order to cram some more information in me. Which is foolish. Mainly because I think that I'll probably forget all of the stuff that I learn in these six weeks.
Having said all of that I can see why it would be a good idea..after all, I might drop spanish instead of Geography and I can use these six weeks to see which one is more bearable. At the moment it looks like spanish has the upperhand but all of that could change.

I am struggling on without a tablet still and it's actually becoming quite depressing, but hopefully I will be able to have access to one next week and as a celebration I shall do some more icons and more art works. I could really do with a memory stick seeing as whenever I want to save something on my school computer file I have to delete a load of stuff to fit it on...which can't be good.

We actually have nice weather today, the last couple of days have been awful. So much so that my trousers and shoes have been living on the radiator in a vain attempt to dry them out.

I had a really interesting chat with a boy in my boarding house after chapel about chapel itself and our views on it. Unfortunately we had exactly the same outlook, I say unfortunately mainly because I always like a good theological debate. I had to show him this video, be warned...you may laugh at first but then you start to feel slightly ill. This video isn't anti-christian or anything like that...I'm not a hater in any way shape or form....I just thoroughly dislike brainwashing....

 

mood: creative

Alas, the multimedia room has found itself with a shortage of batteries and so I can't use the tablets, and my tablet isn't compatable with the school computers. So really any computer sketching has gone out of the window. So I thought I would photoshop some old pieces of my work into icons. 

These are my first ever icons...so...er...constructive commentage would be welcomed.

Teasers:
 

mood: meh

I've been back at school now for like...what...3 days. And already I'm so immensely tired. I had my last exam on monday which was my history. I had to do two 45 min essays, one on British Foreign and Imperial Policy and the other one on Bismarck. First one went really really well, I got a choice of 2 questions and one of the questions was one that we had done in class. The Bismarck one? Not so much.

And even though I have finished all my exams for this year the school is intent on keeping us here for another 6 weeks to start the course for next year. Which is foolish shiz because there is no way on Gods green that I will remember any of what is going on. 

And the parents are still arguing over Christmas and I just canne be bothered with the amount of crap that comes with that at the moment. 

Being told I will have to change my negative attitude in spanish in order to be able to continue with the course next year was also another highlight of today. But not all is bad. Life is strolling along as usual, and now that I have more time I've been drawing more. But the lack of laptoppage makes life without photoshop very upsetting. 

But I joined a new community..well...I've yet to be accepted but it looks awesome. It's an anti-emma watson website and I feel a bit daring, namely because a few people in my school are friends with friends of hers...which is a lame attempt at saying "Ooo people in my school know other famous people" Or whatever. Cause she be lame.  But yeah...I really need to start breaking out and making new friends.

location: My bedroooom

mood: yay

music: Breathe Me- Sia

I saw Indianna Jones two days after it came out in Leeds with my aunt. The whole trip, while a nice visit to see my aunt, was to a certain extent an opportunity for a replacement mum. My mum recently moved to New Zealand...I say recently, just over 5 months ago now...but Its okay, I saw her about a month and a bit ago. But I'm drifting...INDIE!!!

Even though I've seen it, I'm going again! Woop woop! I can't wait, normally I don't really enjoy going to see a film twice at the cinema but I feel with indianna jones its the kind of thing you have to. I remember one time there was a special on at an indie (not -ianna jones) cinema and they were doing a reshowing of ghostbusters. I wasn't alive (I don't think) when Ghostbusters came out, and it has to be one of my fave films.....so seeing that in the cinema was just....Lush.

Indianna jones. 

For me, it could  only have been crap if it got up its own arse and disregarded the whole point of the films. But it didn't. It was funny and silly and still had the fabulous fight/chase/action scenes that we know and love. Don't worry, I shan't post any spoilers...I see no point...But you HAVE you go to see this film! Okay,so it isn't The Last Crusade....yeah...well that was always going to be obvious. It's updated Indianna Jones...And Cate Blanchett is absolutely legendary. Shia LaBeouf is awesome, and the plot follows the same tracks that the other three films did...big old awesome relic with mystic powers, fights, friends, loooove and...this time there be communists!

Ah communism. Such an intricate subject. Indianna and Russians....they have to be two of my favourite things.

And Harrison Ford? Well...he had to get old sometime, and I'd say he's done it with style. And for me, Shia LaBeouf covers the eyecandy slot....even if he isn't quite as fine as a young Mr.Harrison.



Le sigh, aah, well. Having made a big fuss about Mr H I would say that he is probably relitively low down on my HOT list. And by low I mean, he's probably in the top 25,...ah but my top ten you ask? Well...That shall be for another time. Another timeindeed. 

Infact I may just make my hot 25 men into incons. Oh yes. Consider: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Hugh Jackman, Carmine Giovinazzo....and so many more. Feel free to google themif you don't know who they are. I promise....you'll love them.

location: My bedroooom

mood: meh...

music: John Wayne Gacy Jr- Sufjan Stevens

I want this to be many things. I want it to be an art scrapbook, a diary, somewhere to vent my opinions and I also want it to be somewhere where I can make new friends with similar likes.

I go to a boarding school in Norfolk, UK. It isn't like Hogwarts if that is what you were thinking, I am in year 12 but the summer is coming up soon so I will be starting my final year this september. I recently got headgirl, and it might seem really showy to put that in here as a first post but it's going to be a big thing of who I am. I am really competetive....and just....I want to succeed.


So yeah...expect:

Harry Potter related: Art, Icons, rants..hah

Dodgy sketches

Odd Ramblings

And plenty of love!



But today I had a driving lesson which was probably one of the most underwhelming moments of my life. Mainly because I was crap. But I guess it was just my first lesson :P

HAHAHAHAHAH


My laptop is being repared so I amon the old family laptop, the one I used to use before I was fifteen. One of my friends.....MJ and I were on msn trying to outdo eachother with awful icons.I think I won. I'm afraid I have no idea where the original image is from....please excuse the awful text.
You are free to use, but I don't know why you would want to. Its hideous...but slightly funny.

xx